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It’s a good one, though.

So I’m off to a bar.

What are you doing there?

I’m playing a gig.

Gavin, where is the bar?

Well, there’s a little cafe there.

Bag your bags. Come on, I’ll get you some beer.

Bag your bags.


Gavin, can you get me a fucking bagel?

How’s the traffic? I’m not sure that it’s going to be any better here.

You’re never going to get a cab, are you?


Gavin, do you want me to put out your car?

No, no, no, I’d be very happy to.


So I’m on my way to a club and I come at 12 o’clock on Saturday and I walk there, but it doesn’t feel like a club. It feels like a small, quiet back corner shop.

What’s the song at that moment?


That’s it?

Yeah. It’s something. But in the background, there’s a little kid singing a song, something about “the love of the two, the only love.”

The only love.

Oh, I was looking at that on my mobile phone.

So then I’m walking down this street, on my phone, and I see this little man wearing a t-shirt, that has a big message on it: “the only fucking love.” He turns around and I see that it was the name of the song he was singing.

That’s it?

Yeah, yeah. My friend’s on his way back, and when he gets to the cafe he’s gonna see the guy is singing “the only fucking love.” And he’s going: “Oh, my God, that’s it. That’s it!” And he’s so upset because he got a huge phone call telling him not to come out, and he’s gonna be in jail for six months.

And you get out of jail?

Well, I’ve actually got a lawyer. The guy took me out of jail at 1 o’clock. He’s been very fair to me.

I’ll see what I can do. The bar’s open.


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